How To Act Confident - Even When You Don't Feel Like It
When I was in 5th grade, I auditioned for the school play. I was the new girl in school and was about as shy and quiet as a little girl could be. No one ever thought that I would try for a role in a production but I was determined. You see, I really didn't think I could sing very well. So when our Chorus class decided to put on a play where the two main characters didn't have any solo singing roles, I was like, "This is my chance!"
To be honest, I'm not sure why I did it. Sometimes I surprise myself but I wanted that role. It was the role of Latisha, the White House maid who, along with the butler Calvin, would take the audience through the lives of the American Presidents and their wives.
Audition day came and I was SOOOOOO nervous- like I wanted to cry and go the bathroom at the same time. But here I was waiting my turn to audition in front of the whole class! I got up to everyone's surprise and delivered the lines with so much confidence and flare that I got the part! It's all a blur now but that was one of the most fun experiences of my life! But it didn't stop there.
I learned that I can be confident, even when I don't feel like it. But boy is that easier to believe when you're dealing with an acting role than with real life. We're told that you shouldn't pretend, you shouldn't lie about how you feel and you certainly shouldn't be two-faced! And I agree. We shouldn't try to be someone we're not. But then the question arises, who are we?
When we feel insecure, fearful or small, it's easy for us to believe that's who we really are. "Well I'm just shy, I'm quiet, I'm fine being insignificant." But is that really true? Is that what God says about you, His Royal Daughter? You see, who you are is more important than we usually realize. Because everything you think, believe and act upon will be directly linked to who you believe you are. So who are you? What do you think about yourself? Are you important? God sure seems to think so.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well... How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand.”
What we see when we close our eyes is more important than how we look on the outside. What you behold, you ultimately become. And your Father wants you to allow Him to paint a picture on the inside of you of how He sees you, what your frame, personality, and heart look like to Him. And as you behold this image, you will begin to reflect it on the outside, acting and behaving as the Royal Daughter of God that you were destined to be.
But how can we begin walking this out? I can tell you from experience that you simply cannot wait to "feel" confident before you begin to act confident. So what's the answer then. Faith. As you begin to see and understand who you truly are- a confident, secure, important and destined Daughter- then you can now act out of your true identity, even when your emotions say something different.
Too often we want to wait till we feel something to act on it. But this is why we feel so trapped all the time. The longer you put off acting in faith, the longer you will feel stuck and frustrated that you can't seem to break free from old patterns and emotions. It's only when we begin to act on what we see by faith, that our emotions will begin to change and we will begin to see actual transformation and growth in our lives.
So, let's not just simply have a discussion about this, let's make it happen. Let's make today the day that you decided to accept the role that was your's alone to play. The role of a fierce, beloved and accepted Daughter of God who has a purpose and a destiny to fulfill on this earth. Your mission is so vital, that you cannot afford to be sidetracked by negative emotions or fears that bring you down. You are here on purpose and for a purpose.
Here are 3 easy steps to start making this new vision of yourself a reality.
1. Take the vision and write it down
Like we talked about earlier, we must know who we truly are if we are going to walk in that identity. Spend some time with just you, your bible and your journal and ask God to show you what He sees when He looks at you. Close you eyes and then write down what you see. What are you wearing? What is your composure? Where are you? Who all is there? What does the room look like? Where is He? What are you doing? How does it look like you feel? Write it all down!
2. Rebuke the lies
Thoughts lead to emotions and emotions lead to actions. When a negative thought comes up (or just a thought that is contrary to what God has shown you in your vision) then cast it down as false evidence and replace it with the truth. If the enemy can get you to entertain the negative thoughts in your mind, then they will lead to the emotions that cause you to feel unworthy, unconfident or unimportant. But when you do feel those things, it's not too late. You can treat your emotions just like your thoughts and cast out what God says doesn't belong. You decided what stays and what goes. Defend your heart and defend your mind.
3. Act on who God says you are
Now comes the part that seems more difficult. It's not enough to simply cast out the negative if you don't have something to replace it with. We must speak the truth over our lives and then act as though we believe it to be true. The word says in James that "faith without works is dead" (James 2:17). Now this doesn't mean we have to "perform," but if we truly believe what we say, then there will be evidence by what we do. And as we act on the truth, we will be convincing our minds and emotions that this indeed is the truth. Overtime your thoughts will reflect this as well as your emotions. But it comes from acting in faith.
So you see we're not acting, we're not pretending and we're certainly not being two-faced. Being two-faced is acting one way with one person and then acting completely different with another. We are simply realizing who we truly are and then acting out of that identity rather than simply what we think or feel in the moment. After all, our spirits are the only part of us that are perfect. Our souls are still being renewed which means every thought we think or emotion we feel may not be from God. But we have His word as a constant reminder of who we are and our place in this world. Our identity never changes, it's never altered and there's nothing you can do or not do to change your position in His family.
So go ahead, throw your shoulders back girlfriend! When you feel fearful, insecure, unimportant or replaceable, that is when you need to take on your role, wear that invisible crown and walk as a Daughter worthy of her calling. There may be someone in your life that needs what you have and only you can represent God's heart the way you were uniquely designed to.
Let's walk forward in confidence and write our stories well :)
xxo,
J ;)
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