How to Deal with Chronic Comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” - Nehemiah 8:10
Both of these quotes above are pretty well known to most of us and so well known, that we often miss the importance and weight behind them. I know I did!
Not long ago, I started to feel really burnt out on my blog and social media (I mean, who hasn’t, right?) and I began to ask myself why I was even doing this and what purpose I had on the world wide web. I started to question if the significance I could make in people’s lives was enough to justify continuing down this road and I really started to lose any drive I had in the things I loved most.
Of course at the same time, I was spending hours a day scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and every other Christian Girl Blog I could find for the sake of “inspiration” and “ideas.”
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s swell to gather inspiration, to see what other people in your niche are doing and to think about how you could bring your unique perspective to the problems people are facing. But there comes a point when you need to put the phone down, clear your mind and focus on what God has uniquely equipped you to do.
I realized I was draining my soul and my mind of all creativity by constantly comparing myself to other people… even if I wasn’t really intending to.
As Teddy Roosevelt warned us, I was allowing comparison to steal away my joy and in turn, the very strength I had. I ended each day tired but wondering why I hadn’t really accomplished anything.
Friends, the comparison cycle is a doozy and it won’t stop until you make a conscious effort to change your mentality. In our world today, it’s not a matter of if you encounter comparison, but it’s how you will deal with it when you inevitably encounter it’s grimy face.
Don’t let what everyone else is doing keep you from what God has told you to do. Here are four simple ways you can start reversing the pattern of comparison in your life.
Take a fast from social media
I know this isn’t sexy, but it’s vital to your health. The more time you spend meditating on what other people are doing, saying and believing, the less time you spend meditation on what God is trying to say to you.
As Christians, we are constantly asking God to speak to us, reveal His plans for us and to guide us in the way we should go. Then we say amen, pick up our phone and zone out for the next 45min, skimming the seemingly perfect squares that other people spend hours perfecting.
Social media is not bad but just like anything in this life, it can be unhealthy. Is social media something that controls you? Are you able to have a conversation with someone without checking it? Are you confident in the ideas that come to you when you are alone and quiet? Or does every source of inspiration come from what someone else is doing? If that’s the case, I think it’s time for a time out.
Meditate on God’s love for you
I know what you’re thinking… “This is the most simple statement ever!” But how often can you honestly say you do this?
It’s not enough to memorize a few scriptures, to read a chapter in your bible or go to church on Sunday. These are all great things and they will certainly bring good fruit to your life, but they don’t replace a heart that is grounded in the love of God. And that takes consistency.
Everyone meditates, but not everyone meditates on the positive. Worry is simply meditating on the negative. You can choose what you meditate on and it doesn’t require you stop what you’re doing.
While you’re driving, working, grocery shopping, working out, cooking or cleaning, you can be meditating on God’s love, how he sees you and what plans He has for you.
Choose to focus your thoughts and the fruit will come. A hear that is truly confident in how much God loves them is seldom threatened by comparison. They are full and secure.
Renew your vision and purpose for your life
Too often, comparison comes at us with how seemingly fulfilled other people are and makes us feel as though we’ve missed it or don’t have as grand a purpose as someone else.
When you’re busy chasing after what God has placed in your heart, there is little time to worry about how other people are doing.
Living a life of purpose frees you up to cheer on others, not live threatened by them. Someone who is critical of when other people succeed, is someone who struggles with their own sense of purpose.
If you’re serious about knowing what God has for you to do on this earth, then pursue Him, spend time with Him, search His words and meditate on His love.
Jesus said that, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Not with half of your heart, not with the leftovers after you’ve lusted after what everyone else has.
I love the way the message version says it…
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.”
I love how at the end it says “God’s Decree.” This is His promise to you. Don’t be so distracted by what God has called her to do that you miss out on all of the grand things God has called you to do. I promise, it will be more amazing than you can dream of.
Start serving other people
Might I say that I think this is one of the best “quick” ways to get out of the comparison game. Comparison is about your flesh, it’s self-seeking and self-protective. But when you serve others, you are stepping outside of yourself and acting by faith.
I heard it described once that the difference between love and lust is that lust seeks what it wants at the expense of others, while love seeks others at the expense of itself.
When you start to feel yourself getting in the flesh, whether you are judging someone else for what they have, feeling guilty for not doing what someone else is doing or getting frustrated with where you are in life, take a step outside of yourself and serve.
Maybe you buy a friend a coffee, maybe you have someone over for dinner, maybe you compliment someone you would rather not compliment. If it’s not out of a sincere heart, then the fruit of peace will start to take over.
Bottom line, we all deal with comparison, but most of us are not “dealing” with it but rather giving in to it. If you want different results than everyone else than you’re going to need to live differently than everyone else.
Don’t let comparison steal your joy. Take action when you feel it’s grasp around you and begin to walk in the strength that God gave you.